Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!!

     Its Christmas Day 2011! This year has been the first year I've been away from my family in my entire life. But its been a great Christmas at the Joy House! Santa came at about 11 o'clock last night and we slept until lunchtime today. It was fabulous.
     I look forward to the days when Santa gets to come to our house and surprise Madelyn (and soon enough, Jack Jack) with all kinds of wonderful presents. My 23-year old brother has ALWAYS been the first to wake everyone up on Christmas day to open presents, but this year my 2-year old niece beat him to it. Maybe for the first time in his life! Just thinking about that makes me anxious for Madi and Jack-Jack to rush into our room at 3 am, all bedheaded and crazy-eyed, and force us from our bed to see what Santa brought. That nice old man. I relish the times to come when Christmas is magic and mysterious again!

Mrs. Mary Jacque got a big vase 



T.J. got me a sapphire ring and necklace

     I've been reading this book Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis, a missionary my age who works in Uganda. Its a totally awesome story- Katie just "quit her life" and moved to Uganda to help provide for kids who need medical treatment, schooling, and the Lord (to name a few things!). Ok, so, its a great story if it just ended there. BUT it has been so impactful in my life, even beyond just a good story or a worthy calling. Her dependance on the Lord beyond typical human, AMERICAN, reliance is inspiring. And whats more, she has a wonderful heart and willingness for adoption. As of where I am in the book so far, she has adopted 17 children! Maybe that sounds crazy to most people, maybe even irresponsible and overzealous, but to me it sounds...beautiful. As I read her words its as if they were the words my heart has been trying to speak. When she talked about the first time her first daughter called her mommy, I cried. I literally wept, ugly faced, alone in the living room. Because, I long for the first time one of my children will call me mommy. I long to see Jack's "beautiful chocolate face" as Katie says, and hear his precious voice. I long to see Madelyn and hold her in my arms as she makes her first earthly sounds. Katie describes her love for her children in a way I really like and relate to. She says people always want to tell her how "good" she is, and what a great thing she "is doing," but she says this love she has is nothing she has mustered up within herself, but is the overflow of the Father's love in her own life. WOW. If you let that just simmer for a second, its really a beautiful picture. I feel the same way too I think. This love and desire for my children is nothing I choose. Maybe other mothers can relate to that too. I could choose nothing but to love and desire and long for them. This love really is out of my control. Thats why I like Katie's description, because the love she writes of and the love I feel has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the Lord. It is a blessed God-given love. Its marvelous.
     As far as the pregnancy goes, my ribs feel too small for my huuuuge stomach. I've gained a good 30 pounds and according to my friend summer, a "rounder face." lol. I eat like two grown men and my back kills me sometimes. My belly button is also still looking totally weird. But its not popping out yet. Not yet. But Madelyn is kicking so much, and so much harder. I really love when she does, because, its almost like we're touching. Like she's high-fiving me or something. Is that dumb? I don't know. But I love it.
     Also, I compulsively clean our house now. YAY. And I found this really cool de-clutter calendar on pintrest that has a fun de-cluttering activity for every day of the year. OK, when I just reread that sentence I realize it sounds totally weird. But just in case someone else is interested in "fun de-cluttering activities," I'm posting the link. I'm very excited about all the cleaning ideas, haha.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Its Official

     We bought a crib!

My dream crib. The absolute most perfect crib. ever.




     I can't quite explain my reasoning, but getting a crib has been this huge step in making our pregnancy seem more real. Its stupid, but when Brother Billy and TJ were setting it up in Madelyn's room, it felt like, "Wow, Ok, I'm really having a baby." lol. I cannot count the hours I have spent online looking at nursery decorating ideas and color schemes, and finding crib styles and dimensions and bedding... and Madi's room had to sit empty and waiting. For some other strange reason, I can clean the entire house to a T, but I resist going into Madelyn's room alot. I think its because I have all these extravagant dreams and aspirations for the magnificent room I plan to create, but nothing to start my nesting! Or at least I had nothing. I was absolutely itching to get a crib and start arranging and rearranging and rearranging again.
     So, Brother Billy and Mrs. Mary Jacque took me and T.J. to the mall today and made my dreams come true. We looked in Sears and found the exact  crib we were hoping for, and by divine appointment and grace they had it in stock in the store room. So no more waiting for Malyssa! Then, as if that was not enough, they took me to Motherhood Maternity and absolutely LAVISHED me. Now my growing belly has an entire wardrobe that actually fits over it and looks totally cute. And I'm not exaggerating- an entire wardrobe. They even sat outside my dressing room and pretended they weren't bored as I tried on about 1,000 outfits. Merry Christmas to me.
     I think I'll never forget today. I felt so happy and so blessed and so over-indulged. And spoiled rotten.
We are about 6 months, 2/3 of the way done, and I feel so excited to start decorating the room for the most special person in my life. In my world.

So thats official. I have an awesome crib and an awesome maternity outfit for every day for the next 2 years.

     Something else is very official. T.J. and I have started the paperwork to adopt. Its something we've always talked about from before we were even married, and as the Lord would have it, Lifeline adoption agency came into T.J.'s office to talk to them. Its a long process, and will take about 2 years or so, but in just a little while we will have a little boy from Uganda. Thomas Jack Joy Jr.
     I feel like I'm pregnant twice, in a way. Like maybe Jack Jack is even growing in someone's stomach right now. Maybe he's running around or crawling around already. And I love him with a love I can't even put into words. I love him like Madelyn in that weird way that makes your heart feel like it wants to explode and swoon all at the same time. So even though I'm being pregnant for the first time, I feel like I'm becoming a mother twice, all at once. And it feels totally right, like this is what I have been meant to do for my entire life.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

21 and a half weeks



My belly is getting much rounder! My back is hurting and getting out of bed is getting harder-not because I'm tired, but because my abs don't work the same! Reaching the bottom shelf is becoming more of a hassle, and strangers can tell I've got a baby and not a beer gut. I become famished every night. Literally, I have two dinners, lol. But God is good and I am grateful. Me and T.J. went to see Breaking Dawn for the second time yesterday, and for those who have seen it, you know its not the best depiction of a delivery. Hopefully I won't die and Teej won't have to bite Madeline out of my stomach and shove a huge syringe in my chest. Also, I now have to clean the entire house and organize it appropriately. Oh but despite all this complaining, I love being pregnant. I'm enjoying every stage and season.