I look forward to the days when Santa gets to come to our house and surprise Madelyn (and soon enough, Jack Jack) with all kinds of wonderful presents. My 23-year old brother has ALWAYS been the first to wake everyone up on Christmas day to open presents, but this year my 2-year old niece beat him to it. Maybe for the first time in his life! Just thinking about that makes me anxious for Madi and Jack-Jack to rush into our room at 3 am, all bedheaded and crazy-eyed, and force us from our bed to see what Santa brought. That nice old man. I relish the times to come when Christmas is magic and mysterious again!
Mrs. Mary Jacque got a big vase
T.J. got me a sapphire ring and necklace
I've been reading this book Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis, a missionary my age who works in Uganda. Its a totally awesome story- Katie just "quit her life" and moved to Uganda to help provide for kids who need medical treatment, schooling, and the Lord (to name a few things!). Ok, so, its a great story if it just ended there. BUT it has been so impactful in my life, even beyond just a good story or a worthy calling. Her dependance on the Lord beyond typical human, AMERICAN, reliance is inspiring. And whats more, she has a wonderful heart and willingness for adoption. As of where I am in the book so far, she has adopted 17 children! Maybe that sounds crazy to most people, maybe even irresponsible and overzealous, but to me it sounds...beautiful. As I read her words its as if they were the words my heart has been trying to speak. When she talked about the first time her first daughter called her mommy, I cried. I literally wept, ugly faced, alone in the living room. Because, I long for the first time one of my children will call me mommy. I long to see Jack's "beautiful chocolate face" as Katie says, and hear his precious voice. I long to see Madelyn and hold her in my arms as she makes her first earthly sounds. Katie describes her love for her children in a way I really like and relate to. She says people always want to tell her how "good" she is, and what a great thing she "is doing," but she says this love she has is nothing she has mustered up within herself, but is the overflow of the Father's love in her own life. WOW. If you let that just simmer for a second, its really a beautiful picture. I feel the same way too I think. This love and desire for my children is nothing I choose. Maybe other mothers can relate to that too. I could choose nothing but to love and desire and long for them. This love really is out of my control. Thats why I like Katie's description, because the love she writes of and the love I feel has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the Lord. It is a blessed God-given love. Its marvelous.
As far as the pregnancy goes, my ribs feel too small for my huuuuge stomach. I've gained a good 30 pounds and according to my friend summer, a "rounder face." lol. I eat like two grown men and my back kills me sometimes. My belly button is also still looking totally weird. But its not popping out yet. Not yet. But Madelyn is kicking so much, and so much harder. I really love when she does, because, its almost like we're touching. Like she's high-fiving me or something. Is that dumb? I don't know. But I love it.
Also, I compulsively clean our house now. YAY. And I found this really cool de-clutter calendar on pintrest that has a fun de-cluttering activity for every day of the year. OK, when I just reread that sentence I realize it sounds totally weird. But just in case someone else is interested in "fun de-cluttering activities," I'm posting the link. I'm very excited about all the cleaning ideas, haha.
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