I can't believe my sweet little baby is already 2 months old. And huge. Growing up makes me real sad. She got 4 big ole shots, and one vaccine drink thing. She's officially experienced both infant tylenol and D-Vi-Sol. While I am thankful for and do not underestimate modern medicine, I'm still sad. It feels a little bit like she's lost some part of that pure innocence she had when she was born. No medicines or problems or illnesses-just perfect and undefiled and completely new. Oh, growing up is hard. Her growing up is hard. Well, on me. Madi is just changing so fast, and I'm having trouble keeping up. I have... growth whiplash.
I think I discovered why other moms don't warn you about the secret atrocities of parenthood. Its because its impossible to understand how it could be worth it from "the other side." Who wants to hear your clothes STILL won't fit, that you will never get to sleep as long as you want again, and that learning to breastfeed is more painful than having both your arms cut off (at least for me). And yet, its been the pleasure of my life. I love it and I love HER literally more than I love my own life. I love her needs and her future more than my own. If you don't believe me, take a look at my facebook. Its blown up all day with pictures of her. I looked through my pictures the other day, and there is an obvious division. Before she was born, its a picture of Malyssa and T.J. at the concert... a picture of Malyssa in Sunday School, a picture of Malyssa with her mom.... and now, Madelyn...Madelyn...Madelyn...maybe someone else, and Madelyn...
My heart and my thoughts and my house are consumed with this precious little gift. My love. To the point that a few measly shots inflicted on SOMEONE ELSE will make me tear up and crumble. This whole parenting thing has permanently destroyed my life as I previously knew it. But the replacement life has been awesome! Its a sharp learning curve though.
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